My friend promised we would run the race together, then sprinted away at the first mile

My friend convinced me to enter my first half marathon by promising we would run it together. I asked what “together” meant because she is faster. She said it meant starting together, staying together, walking if either person needed it, and crossing the finish line side by side.

We trained that way for four months. She slowed down on long runs. I carried extra fuel because she always forgot hers. We discussed a pace that felt manageable for both of us and repeated that finishing mattered more than the clock.

On race morning, the crowd was loud and she was electric. The first mile came faster than planned. I told her we needed to settle down. She said she felt amazing and would ease back after the next turn. Instead, she moved through a gap and kept going.

For several minutes I could still see her shirt ahead. Then I could not. I checked my phone at a water station and found a message: “I’m going to see what I’ve got—meet you at the finish!”

I finished alone. I am proud that I finished, but the final miles felt different from the challenge I had agreed to. At the finish area she hugged me, showed me her time, and said the race energy had taken over. She had beaten her goal by several minutes. I congratulated her because I did not want our first conversation to become a fight beside the medal table.

Later I told her I was hurt. She said races are unpredictable and that I should be pleased I proved I could do it without her. She also said she would have regretted wasting a great day by holding back. That word—wasting—landed badly. Our shared plan became wasted potential the moment she saw a faster time.

I understand the temptation. She trained hard too, and opportunities to feel that strong do not arrive on schedule. If she had told me before the start that she wanted to race her own race, I would have been nervous but prepared. What hurt was learning the agreement had changed by watching her disappear.

She has now suggested another race and says we can “actually stay together this time.” I do not want revenge or a dramatic friendship breakup. I also do not trust the promise anymore.

Would you run with her again under a clearer plan, enter separately and meet afterward, or stop making sports commitments together? Is breaking a pace promise a small race-day decision, or does it reveal something worth taking seriously outside running too?