My brother records our family calls so Dad can listen later, and nobody agreed to it

Every Sunday, my siblings and I have a video call with our dad. Dad tires easily and sometimes leaves after twenty minutes, but the rest of us often stay on. We talk about work, marriages, money and whatever family disagreement has developed since the previous Sunday.

Last week my brother quoted something I had said after Dad logged off. He was explaining why Dad knew I was considering changing jobs. I said I had never told Dad. My brother replied, ‘He listens to the recording during the week.’

Apparently, my brother has recorded the calls for months. He started because Dad was frustrated when he missed parts of the conversation. My brother uploads the files to a private folder and sends Dad a link. He says the folder is secure and only the two of them can access it.

Nobody else knew.

My sister was furious. Our other brother shrugged and said we should assume anything said on a family call could reach Dad anyway. I disagree. There is a difference between a sibling later saying, ‘We talked about travel plans,’ and Dad replaying our exact voices during a conversation we believed was temporary. There are jokes I would make live that I would not put in an archive. There are pauses and tones that sound different without the moment around them.

The strange part is that I understand why Dad likes the recordings. He lives alone, and the call is one of the liveliest parts of his week. Hearing us again probably feels less lonely. I would happily record a ten-minute family update for him if everyone knew. What I cannot accept is months of private conversations being stored without asking.

I asked my brother to delete the files. He refused because they also contain Dad’s stories, and he thinks we will value them later. Then he accused me of caring more about abstract privacy than about preserving our father’s voice.

Now Sunday is coming again. My sister will not join unless she receives written confirmation that recording is off. Dad knows there is a dispute but not the full reason. My brother says telling him will embarrass him and make him feel like a burden.

I do not want to turn Dad’s comfort into the villain. I also do not want the solution to be everyone speaking as though a transcript is being prepared. How do we separate the valuable idea of preserving Dad’s stories from the unacceptable way my brother created the archive?