My accountability buddy sends results before I have opened my curtains

My friend Leah and I agreed to be accountability buddies because both of us wanted more consistency. I imagined a Sunday text asking what the week looked like. Leah imagined a live broadcast.

At 6:07 on Monday she sent a photo from the gym. At 6:40 she asked what I was doing. Tuesday brought a screenshot from her run and three fire emojis when I replied that I planned to walk after work. By Thursday, opening our chat felt like arriving late to a meeting I had not scheduled.

Leah is not trying to shame me. She is energized by shared momentum, and her messages probably feel generous from her side. From mine, they turn a private choice into a daily report. If I move later, it feels like catching up. If I choose rest, I prepare an explanation nobody explicitly requested.

I made the arrangement, so simply ignoring her feels unfair. I also do not want to quit the goal just to escape the communication around it. The support I need is less frequent and less numerical: Did you make room for yourself this week? What got in the way? What is realistic next?

I am thinking of asking for one Sunday check-in and no unsolicited screenshots during the week. That sounds severe when written down, but the current pattern is making me avoid both the chat and the activity. Accountability should help a plan survive ordinary life, not make every morning comparable.

Have you successfully changed the terms of an accountability partnership after it started? What details should be agreed at the beginning—frequency, numbers, encouragement style, permission to skip—so support does not become supervision?