AITA for emailing the corrected wedding guest list after my fiancé’s parents added people?
AITAMy fiancé and I gave both families a spreadsheet for suggested wedding guests. We could host 110 people and asked that nobody treat suggestions as invitations.
His parents added eighteen relatives and then called them to say save the date. We learned when one aunt asked about hotels.
My fiancé wanted to call each person privately and explain that formal invitations were not final. I was angry and worried the story would spread differently through the family.
I emailed all eighteen people. I said the venue had a firm limit, the shared list was preliminary and some names had been communicated without our approval.
Three relatives replied graciously. Others felt publicly uninvited. My future mother-in-law says I made her look dishonest to her own siblings when she had assumed family suggestions would be honored.
My fiancé agrees his parents crossed a line, but he says the email converted their mistake into a permanent family document bearing both our names. He had not approved the wording before I sent it.
I wanted one accurate version to reach everyone at once. I also wanted the people who created the confusion to be unmistakably responsible for it.
We now have enough declined invitations to include all eighteen. Inviting them anyway would solve the seating problem and not the message they already received.