AITA for asking my partner to stop ordering for me at restaurants?

My partner, Sam, is excellent at restaurants. He remembers what I liked six months ago, asks useful questions about sauces and notices when a server has missed an allergy note. I used to find it charming when he ordered for both of us.

Somewhere along the way, the habit stopped feeling optional.

If I am still reading the menu when the server arrives, Sam will say, “She’ll have the salmon, no onions.” Usually he is right. If I choose something different, he asks whether I am sure because I disliked a similar dish elsewhere. He does not raise his voice or forbid anything. He simply speaks with so much confidence that I feel like a guest in my own decision.

Last weekend we went to dinner with his parents. Before the server reached me, Sam ordered my usual pasta. I said, “Actually, I’m ordering for myself tonight.”

The table became quiet.

I chose a spicy noodle dish. Sam reminded me that I had complained about heartburn that morning. I said, “Please stop managing my plate.” His mother laughed nervously and said he was only taking care of me.

The noodles were much hotter than I expected. I ate half, then ordered rice. Sam did not say “I told you so,” but his silence felt like an entire speech.

On the drive home he said I had corrected him as if he were controlling, when the routine began because I used to ask him to order while I was anxious about taking too long. That is true. Early in our relationship, crowded restaurants made me flustered, and I appreciated his help.

He said I could have changed the arrangement privately instead of making an announcement in front of his parents. I said I had tried twice before. Both times he agreed, then ordered for me again out of habit.

I apologized for the public tone but repeated that I will order for myself unless I specifically ask for help. Sam accepted that. He has also become noticeably detached at meals, refusing to answer even when I ask which of two dishes he thinks I would prefer.

He says he is trying not to cross the new line. I think he is showing me how much invisible help I rejected.

AITA for calling him out at the table?