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AITA for asking my friend to pay for a dress she altered without permission?

AITA category photographAITA

I own a dark blue dress that is far nicer than anything I normally wear. I bought it for a work event two years ago, then had it tailored because the sleeves were too long. It cost enough that I store it in a garment bag instead of folding it with everything else.

My friend Camille asked to borrow it for an awards dinner. We are close in size, but she is shorter. I told her she could borrow it as long as she did not make any permanent changes. I specifically suggested fashion tape if the hem bothered her.

When she returned the dress, it looked fine on the hanger. She had it dry-cleaned and even replaced a loose button.

Three weeks later, I put it on for a wedding and saw that the skirt ended well above my ankles. I thought I had somehow gained several inches overnight. Then I found a line of tiny stitches inside the hem.

Camille admitted that her aunt had shortened it for the dinner. She said the stitching was meant to be temporary and could be removed. I took the dress to the tailor who originally fitted it. She found that the old hem had been pressed so firmly that a pale crease might remain, and one area had been trimmed because the fabric would not lie flat. She could lengthen it, but not restore it exactly.

I sent Camille the estimate and asked her to pay. The alteration would cost $74. I also said that if the crease remained obvious, I expected her to contribute toward replacing the dress.

Camille paid the alteration fee immediately. She objected to the second part. She said I was demanding an open-ended replacement for damage that might not be visible after repair. She also reminded me that the dress was already two years old and had been worn several times.

I told her the age did not matter because I had not planned to replace it. She answered that if I wanted full replacement value for any imperfection, I should not lend clothes.

The tailor has now finished. From a normal distance, the dress looks fine. If I hold the skirt near a window, I can see a faint horizontal line. I wore it to the wedding and nobody noticed. I still notice because I know where to look.

Camille apologized again and said her aunt cut a narrow strip only because she thought it was excess lining. She has offered to buy me dinner, but she will not agree that she owes part of a new dress.

I am angry about the permission more than the fabric. At the same time, asking for replacement money after a successful repair may be an attempt to price the anger itself.

AITA for still wanting her to contribute toward a replacement?

Discussion

2 community replies

@AlixB

She owed the repair because she authorized a permanent change after agreeing not to. Once the dress is wearable and the remaining mark is barely visible, replacement money starts to look like a penalty rather than compensation.

@NoriK

“Nobody else can see it” is not the same as restoration. The dress belongs to you, and you should not have to accept a new flaw just because the person who caused it considers the flaw small.