My partner wants hotter food, but I do the cooking. Who should make the second version?
Food"This would be great with twice the chilli," my partner said, reaching for the sauce bottle while I was washing the pan. It was the third dinner that week he'd said was too mild.
I like some heat, but his preferred version stops being enjoyable for me. He offered a solution: cook the same dish in two small pans. I pointed to our one good pan and the dishes already waiting by the sink. He said he wasn't asking for a whole second meal, just a change before mine was finished.
I cook on four weeknights because I get home earlier. He shops on Saturday and usually washes up, though I often wash the pan before he starts because I need it for lunch the next morning. I'd assumed those jobs made the arrangement fair. He's now saying dinner always follows my taste because I'm the one at the stove.
We could pick dishes where he adds heat at the table, give him two cooking nights, or buy another pan and make separate portions sometimes. I don't want to tell him that helping with shopping buys no say in dinner. I also don't want a standing order for a second version. What would a fair cooking agreement look like when our tastes differ and our evening time does too?