Is a quiet hour before bed a fair request when my partner gets home late?
Health"If I leave the pans, you'll say I haven't done my share," my partner said at 11:20, with the tap running.
He finishes work at ten. I start at seven. In our small flat the kitchen is against the bedroom wall, and his cooking, washing up and video calls with his brother all land in the hour when I am trying to sleep.
I suggested no kitchen noise after eleven. He heard a request to eat earlier at work and come home without speaking to anyone. That was not what I meant, but I can see how my neat rule uses up most of his evening.
I have been struggling with sleep for five weeks, including nights when he is away. I have booked a medical appointment because it is affecting work. [NHS advice includes keeping the bedroom quiet and seeking help when sleep problems make daily life hard to manage](https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/insomnia/); it does not establish that my partner is the cause.
I could wash the pans in the morning if he prepared dinner quietly, but then I would be taking back a chore we deliberately split. What would a fair trial arrangement look like when neither person can move their work hours?