I live nearest to Dad. Does that mean I should take every weekday errand?
Family“You're twelve minutes away; I'm ninety. Surely the weekday jobs are yours,” my brother said.
Dad has asked us for help with his Wednesday grocery trip, two clinic appointments and three household errands next month. My sister made a rota in the family chat. Seven of its nine slots had my name beside them. Nobody asked me first because I work from home.
I can do some of it. I also have client calls I can't move, and leaving at three means arranging someone else to collect my own son. My brother has offered fuel money. That is kind, but it doesn't give me back the working afternoon. My sister says she is handling Dad's Sunday lunches, which is true and takes effort.
Dad wasn't in the chat. When I rang him, he said he would be happy with grocery delivery some weeks, but he likes having company on the trip. He doesn't want us arguing over him.
I want to change the rota before silence turns into agreement. I don't want a spreadsheet that pretends a ninety-minute drive costs the same as a twelve-minute drive, either.
How do we divide the work fairly when distance, working hours and the kinds of help Dad actually wants are different?