Career / Work · Advice & Questions · Oct 15

A friend wants my referral, but I can’t honestly vouch for the whole job

Career / Work

A friend sent me a vacancy at my company with the message, “You could put in a good word for me, right?”

We worked together on a volunteer arts event last year. Her ideas were excellent and she was great with visitors. She also missed two planning deadlines, leaving me to finish the supplier list. She apologised afterward and said her day job had become overwhelming.

The vacancy is for an events coordinator. It includes the public-facing work she’d enjoy, but it also involves booking suppliers and keeping several deadlines moving at once. My hiring manager has asked me before whether I know anyone suitable, so a recommendation from me would carry more meaning than just forwarding a link.

I know one event isn’t a complete picture of how she works. I also know I’d feel uneasy writing “highly organised” because that isn’t what I saw. She’s been trying to move into paid events work, and I don’t want a cautious answer to sound like I’ve decided she isn’t capable.

Would you refer her with a limited description of what you know, ask her more about the role first, or decline? How would you be honest with both her and the hiring manager without turning a friendship into a performance review?

Discussion

3 community replies

@softfocus

I’d tell your friend exactly what you can offer before sending anything: “I can say I worked with you on the arts event and saw how well you handled visitors and ideas. I haven’t worked with you in a paid coordinator role.” She can then decide whether she wants that introduction. It would be unfair to let her expect an unqualified endorsement while you intend to give a much narrower one.

@PatchTuesdayish

What does your company mean by a referral? If it’s a route for submitting a candidate’s details, you could ask whether a limited introduction is appropriate. If the manager is asking for your judgment about suitability, forwarding the name alone may imply more than you intend. I’d clarify that expectation with the manager in general terms before sharing your friend’s details, then choose language that matches what you actually know.

@NextReview

One overloaded volunteer event is a limited basis for judging her whole working life. You could ask what coordinating experience she’s gained since then and how she handles competing deadlines now. That isn’t a promise to recommend her. It’s a chance to understand the application before deciding. Any examples she gives would still be her account, so I’d keep them separate from the strengths you personally observed.

A friend wants my referral, but I can’t honestly vouch for the whole job

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